Wistful wishing

Today I am wistfully wishing that younger ones WOULD listen and think and engage their brains before acting!

I observe that younger men do not want to hear the advice that older men can give them. They translate it as interfering, being "know-it-all".... and they reject it without consideration. This is so very foolish.

I know that there were times when I was younger that I would ignore advice given freely to me from people who have trodden the path I am on before me, so this angst does not come from arrogance. I wish I had listened to some of the stuff I was told...but I do understand that some things just have to be experienced for oneself. However I am also glad that I listened and took in the great advice I was given too, more often than not. I have such strong and powerful memories of calling my Father in the UK in the middle of his night, waking him up, apologising, and saying "I wouldn't be calling if I did not need, really need, to hear your input right now." He would always wake himself up, collect his thoughts, listen, consider the information and then using the decades of experience of life he had, he would say to me "well this is what I would do if I was in your situation".... and he would give me options... and I would listen to his reasoning.

I benefitted from this so much. I didn't always do what he reasoned was the right way to bring the question to a conclusion, but I benefitted from the input and found a way that suited my need. Sometimes his perspective saved me a lot of grief, a lot of money and a lot of time. I sadly no longer have my Father to do this with, but I do have sons of my own, and they are making some foolish decisions and don't want to hear the old man's input. That is sad because they are making mistakes that they are doomed to continue repeating if they do not learn. The sooner they gain perspective, the less serious and the less expensive their errors in judgement may be.

I don't know everything, even though they think I think I do.....but I do have perspective, and if I cannot immediately add any value to the situation, I am man enough, courtesy of my Grandfather and Father, to say so but still offer to listen, watch and apply my understanding to what is presented, in the hope that it may illuminate the scene just a little.

I think that at times we give younger men too much rope too early. Sometimes they fly with it and sometimes they hang themselves. I was given huge amounts of rope very early, and flew a lot, but sure spent a lot of time dangling  too. Oh how I wish I had had the wisdom to know when I was walking off a cliff when I thought I was taking a stroll in the park. Some pain and suffering may have been alleviated  and by having a good point of departure, I may have made better of things than was the fact.

I have just had to look at a situation and the reality that one young man didn't want to know and has made a seriously expensive mistake which will resonate down the way for some time. Its sad and was totally avoidable if before doing it for the first time he had asked about it and learned a bit about the process he was considering embarking upon. However, it is not my place to force a rescue. He is grown up and in theory self responsible. He has a partner and is planning a life. He has to grow to become a parent and he has to be allowed to learn from his expensive and foolish mistakes. I have to be sitting on the sidelines, my mouth closed, aware of the situation and be prepared to act later, not in an "I told you so" way, but to to keep things on an even keel. I think it will still be seen as "I told you so" and if indeed it is, that will be because he has seen the foolishness of what was done.

Why does it always have to be this way?